Teaching Kindness

You know it’s actually quite surprising to me that we need to teach kindness to children. At least I do. I have to constantly remind my two little girls to be kind to one another. And when I remind them, I have to be mindful of how I’m redirecting them and that I’m being kind when I do.  Instead of reacting with frustration, which can totally happen when we’re exhausted or when we’re tired of reminding them again and again.

Also something crazy I just learned from my partner Deryk is that 3 year old's ask an average of 300-400 questions per day!!  So it’s totally normal if you feel as crazy as I do.

For example earlier this week the girls were playing with this wooden alphabet puzzle that’s geared towards my almost 3 year old and she exclaims “this is Bambi!” And her older sister responded “I know Quinn!”  And I was shocked. Most often their first response is to be rude to one another despite my constant reminders to be kind. 

I’m also teaching about kindness to animals. Earlier this week we picked up our puppy Pax. He’s an 8 week old springer spaniel and he’s cute as pie, but he’s a lot of work. Like a lot of work. And we’re crazy really. We’re potty training and puppy training at the same time and plus I had just created this peaceful balance where the girls were finally sleeping in a bit. Now they’re so excited to get up with Pax that our mornings seem to start before 5 again.  This morning they were all up at 4:15am!

Anyways, my youngest and I have been staying home from the gym to give our time to raising Pax and when I got out of the shower yesterday I caught her trying to close the closet door on his head. I’m so glad that I caught her in time to stop her and I asked if she was trying to hurt him and she said yes. And then burst into tears. Which really scares me especially because earlier that same day she told me that she needs my help because her brain wants to hurt things. Anyone love Dexter as much as I do? I sure hope that I don’t have a future serial killer on my hands. But this behaviour isn’t taught. It’s seems to be instinct to respond and react in these ways. 

And I think because the children are at home and they feel safe here they also feel safe to be themselves. I’m sure my 5 year old wouldn’t respond the same way in her JK class. But for some reason at home they seem to lack patience with one another. 

Sometimes I feel like I’m going a bit crazy and in those moments I have to stop and remember that this phase will pass and soon we’ll be onto the next phase.

And the same message to you.

Whatever you have going on in your life right now that seems challenging is going to change. And you’re going to be okay. And I'm going to be okay.  We’re all doing our best and I assure you that’s enough. 

So let’s start by being patient and kind with ourselves as we navigate and figure out this life on earth. If we model kindness, then we’ll have a better chance of raising our children to be kind.