Difficult Decisions

Sometimes we’re faced with a decision that isn’t as easy to navigate as we might like. The answer doesn’t come to us easily, we’re worried about how our decision might affect someone else or we’re worried about the impact it might make on our entire life. When difficult decisions come up, the best we can do is be honest with ourselves and go from there.

So this newly single mom is making all kinds of tricky decisions. But I trust they are the best decisions for my family.

Which leads me to a story about Pax, my springer spaniel pup that was cute as pie and sweet as he could possibly be, when he was being sweet. And when we wasn’t, he was running away, demolishing the kids toys and stealing clothes to chew. He even snapped at a little girl at Quinn’s 4th birthday party back in April. But the final straw for me was last week when I took the girls to Canada’s Wonderland. I asked my neighbour to come over in the afternoon to take him for a walk (someone he’s met before) and Pax barely let her in the house. When she did get inside, he went into complete protection mode and growled himself into his crate for safety. She called me and we ended up coming home early. Pax was so happy to see me that he almost knocked me over, jumping into my arms. Again, super cute. But I didn’t need him to be my protector. I just needed him to be my family pet and to trust me and others to take care of him.

So, last Saturday, I made a really difficult decision. I asked the girls to say goodbye to him before I took them to their dads for the night. And the next morning I drove 2 hours back to Pax’s breeder, without anything in return, so that he could be retrained and placed with a family who has space for him to run.

But that wasn’t an easy decision to make. I made a commitment to this pup and he loved me and I loved him. I understood though that even though there was love and even though we’re the only family he’s known, didn’t mean we were the best family for him. I knew about a year ago that he wasn’t a good fit for our family. My golden retriever Mazzy was so calm and Pax was exactly the opposite. But I wanted to make it work. I tried to make it work. For him and for the kids….especially because he had a special bond with Reese, my 6 year old.

Here I am exactly a week later, and although there are moments when I miss him, I know that my decision was right. It was based on truth and facts and it wasn’t an emotional one. And as a dear friend reminded me, it’s okay to feel sad. And it’s okay to miss him. She reminded me to trust my decision.

When we know something is right, we also have to trust that we have the strength to get through it. Whatever it is. And when we hold strong and trust our decisions, and we move forward with as much grace as we can, we create space for wonderful new things. Things that make sense and feel good. Like adopting a golden retriever again when the time is right. (!!)

As for the girls, they made a comment about missing him the first day but not really anything since. Except how they no longer have to hold on to the railing when walking down the stairs because Pax won’t knock them over.

Wishing you more peace, balance, happiness, vibrant health and lasting love.

Sandy xo
“What we think, we become.” - Buddha