A Healthy Relationship With Food

I want a healthy relationship with food.

I want to have balance and moderation without following a specific meal plan.  I want to have one and not have everything. I want hands and a neck that don’t itch and crack and occassionally bleed.

But what I have is right now.

And I know that right now IS perfect.

Because perfect is about not being perfect at all.

It’s about trusting the process and the journey and the loving of ourselves in between it all.

I remember doing a podcast where I told a story about going for a drive and eating a whole bag of Oreo cookies. I was disgusted with myself.

And that’s not compassion.

That’s not love and understanding.

And that’s what I’m learning to do…

Have love and compassion for myself.

A healthy relationship with food is taking way longer than I hoped because instead of limiting myself (which I can easily do) I’m trying to find a balance so that I can enjoy treats once in a while without overdoing it.

On my journey to a healthy relationship with food, I’ve been doing some energy healing. I’ll go into more detail about what that entails in the future, but for now I’ll tell you what I’m learning about myself.

Deep stuff alert!!! (Only read if you’re ready to know some deep things about me!)

I’ve realized through the energy healing and through reflection that my parents getting divorced when I was 10 actually did impact me. My mother left when my sister and I were at a birthday party. My dad called us home and there was a note. I didn’t really understand what was happening but I remember sitting on my Dad’s lap and crying myself to sleep for a very long time.

I grew up saying that the divorce didn’t affect me at all. I’ve always been optimistic and a go-getter and I learned a long time ago that the best way to make things happen was to do things for myself. I’m a very indepedant person. And I know that I can do anything.

I also forgave my parents long ago. And I thought I was past this.

But what I’m learning is that it still made a deep impact.

And it’s been revealing itself since I became a mother.

And it’s been hard.

But I have a very supportive partner. Deryk is incredible.

My energy healer suggested that I start to look at myself through his eyes. That he sees all of me.

So I’m trying.

I’ve also gone back to that little girl in my mind to hug her. I’ve been through a lot and I didn’t even want to admit it to myself.

AND it created my relationship to food. I learned as a little girl that food can make you feel better. That treats are pure pleasure and can make the moment better.

And so even when I’m not aware, I’m using food as comfort in this way.

But I know I have the power to change my relationship to food.

We all have the power to change anything we don’t like or want for ourselves.

We are not our past.

I understand that food should be fuel. We should make healthy choices most of the time because it’s how we stay strong. And the treats can be a part - but be mindful of our portion sizes and the frequency of our indulgences.

As I work towards my goal I am kind to myself.

And I say the following affirmations daily…

I am grateful to be healed.

I have a healthy relationship with food.

I am fit.

I am healthy.

I am beautiful.

I am patient.

I know the reality to healing my ezcema is going to come down to modifying my diet for a few months. I know this commitment is coming and I know I can do it. When I’m ready. And I’m not ready just yet.

Right now I just want to enjoy the holidays and the treats and work on the portion sizes and on minimizing the indulgences.

So one of the tricks I’ll be using is the “Is It A 10?” rule

And that means that if I take a bite of a dessert and it’s not a 10, I’m not going to feel obligated to finish it. And if it is a 10 then I am going to love it guilt free.

I now know there are a few layers to my food story and I’ll continue to love myself through it all.

Thanks for listening to my story. I do hope you find some value here and can relate parts to your own life.

Live The Life You Deserve To Live.

Making Spirits Bright,

Sandy xo